Sleep Training: Lessons Learned

If you know me or have read these blogs... then you know that my daughter has never been a big sleeper. I have been seriously envious of the moms whose babies slept all the time! I wish I had done this sooner! It would've probably been easier if she was younger. Better late than never!

We had made it to the point where Em slept 7 or 8 hours a few nights a week & the other nights she would wake up 1-4 times. She napped a couple hours about half of week days. And quite frankly... I was satisfied with that after a year of living with hardly any sleep (insomnia during pregnancy straight to a baby that hated sleep). But around her 6 month mark when she started getting VERY spoiled... that changed. She wanted ME all the time & of course I gave her what she wanted. Sleeping became a struggle for her. She started to wake up every time I laid her down. Night & day. She would only sleep with me. I was growing weary. She would nap 10-30 mins at a time, a few times a day. I couldn't get anything done in the house! We are against co-sleeping for safety reasons & we want to keep our marriage bed, exactly that, ours. Something had to be done. But could I do it? The only time I had tried to lay Em down while she was awake, she cried so hard that she vomited. That was only 5 mins! I don't have to explain to any mom how it feels to hear your child crying. We all know that it is awful to say the least. I told myself that I would try again when she could hold her own bottle & when I could handle it better. 

At Em's swim school lesson one morning, I was discussing with my cousin-in-law & her best friend about what I had been going through. They both told me that I had to try sleep training. Do it for 3 days, just try it, the baby will be okay, she will cry but she will live, it will be hard but it will be worth it, they insisted. They gave me examples of what they went through. It always helps to know you aren't alone in these battles! It just so happens that Em had been holding her bottle a couple days now. It seemed all the signs were there that we needed to try again.

The instructions I was given: 

1) Lay baby down while baby is full & has a clean diaper (I advise to check for poop bc that's a reason Em was crying one time).

2) Go in every 10 mins that baby cries to lay baby back down, pat baby, tell baby how much you love them. 

3) DON'T GIVE IN ... Unless it's over your time limit of allowing baby cry. Ours was 2 hours. 

4) Be firm but gentle. 

5) If baby wakes in the night, WAIT. Don't rush in (like I've done since forever)! Wait for 30 minutes before going in. 

6) ROUTINE- Make your schedule & whatever you have to do, don't sway from it! I wanted to do one long nap in the afternoon unless of course baby is tired & fussy in the morning. 

My advice I wanted to add:

1) Pray

2) Take a Xanax IF you're prescribed those, meditate or do whatever helps calm you down.

3) Have support.

4) Don't make baby nap unless baby is tired & needs one

We started that afternoon & IT WAS HORRIBLE! 

We saw exactly how bad our child's temper is. Every time we laid her back down it seemed to make her more angry. I had my husband at home for support & my sweet cousin-in-law texting me as well. After an hour I had to leave for a prior commitment.  My husband had to finish on his own. I was ever so glad to escape!!! Em met the time limit while I was gone. We were advised to keep her awake until bedtime because it had gotten so late in the day. That was a challenge because she wanted to sleep on us so bad! That night we laid her down after bedtime routine. She cried 20 minutes & laid herself back down & went to sleep! She woke up crying 3 times all night... The last time about 5am & was back asleep BY HERSELF within 5-10 minutes each time! She woke up for the day at 8am. I was in amazement & disbelief. It was a miracle! I had to continue this!!!

The Next 3 Days:

Day 1:

Morning nap: (She was fussy & tired) Cried 1 hour 10 mins - Slept 30 mins 

Afternoon nap: Cried 1 hour - Slept 2 hours

Bedtime: Cried less than 10 mins- Slept 10 hours straight without waking up

Day 2:

No morning nap! 

Afternoon nap: Cried 1 hour 10 mins- Slept less than an hour

Bedtime: No crying- Slept 10 hours straight without waking up

Day 3:

No morning nap! 

Afternoon nap: Cried 20 mins- Slept an hour

Bedtime: No crying- Slept 10 hours straight without waking up

Yes. Sleep training works.

I am on the move quite a bit during the day & I take Em everywhere with me. So, she may fall asleep in the car seat some days & that may mess up her daytime naps. There are always things that you have to acclimate to. If she's not super tired and/or just in a clingy mood then she will still cry a long time when laid down during the day. But since this started she has not cried when we put her down at night! If she wakes up during the night, she self-soothes back to sleep. She consistently sleeps 9 to 11 hours. It's a miracle. I feel like a new woman! We were happy before but this makes life grander!

It is important to teach our children that they don't always get their way & that it can actually benefit them when they don't! Even at 7 months old, my daughter knew how to manipulate me. She knew just how loud to cry to get a response! Now don't get me wrong, she's still spoiled rotten. To me. I am her favorite toy, her pacifier & security blanket. It can be taxing but I know she will be walking soon & will not want me as much. So, I make the most of it, even if I have to go be alone for a few minutes when my husband gets home from work. I know soon enough that I will be missing this!!!

I have learned that it IS okay for babies to cry if it's for their own good (& only if they aren't sick, hungry, hurting or dirty). I also learned, my little girl has a incredibly strong will, a ferocious temper & through this... I have gifted her with INDEPENDENCE! She will be quite a woman with God helping me to teach her how to use those qualities in a positive way! 

Happy sleeping!