Life with a newborn: Not so obvious advice
The main advice I received during my pregnancy was, "You'll never sleep again!" "Get sleep while you can!" "Sleep when the baby sleeps!"
I hated every time I heard that because I had insomnia my entire pregnancy. I would always reply with "Well, at least I won't have this immense pain on top of it". I suffered from "down there" pains very bad. Each side I laid on would go numb after 20 minutes and every time I turned over in bed my hips would pop sending shooting pains through my "not so special place". So, I was prepared for the no sleep, I hadn't slept for more than a couple hours at a time since my first trimester. Next, please.
Here are a few not so obvious things I wished I had known to prepare for.
How much my arms, hands and shoulders would ache due to the hours on end of holding and patting... and more patting ... and just a little more patting. I should have put more time in on the arm machine at the gym before I got pregnant. I need a muscle relaxer to make it through the day but that would send me into a coma. Not an option when you have a newborn. So, no.
How hard it is to put a shirt on a newborn. Holy anxiety attack!!! God forbid you have a long sleeve to shove their arms through while they scream like a banshee and flail like a mouse caught in a trap. Then to take them off is like cracking a bank safe. Lord, help us until my daughter can assist with dressing. Zip ups or button ups are my best friend these days.
How hard it is to suck out boogers. Please, at all costs get the hospital grade booger sucker (make sure you take one from the hospital, it's included in your $50k bill). All other ones need to be buried or burned. But, even with the holy grail of booger suckers, cue the banshee screaming once again.
How much time I would spend washing bottles. All day, every day. Wash, wash, wash. My smart and efficient self decided to get a fancy bottle sterilizer. What a joke. Basically washing them before I sterilize them, placing all the pieces over the correct slots and then waiting for 10 mins for the sterilization process. No, the baby does not wait for 10 mins when she is hungry. Again, banshee scream. Maybe I shouldn't let them all get dirty before I decide to wash them but y'all told me to sleep when the baby does. Bottle sterilizer aka waste of money, was returned.
How hard it would be to hold my bladder or bowels when I'm taking care of the baby. You'd think I'd have a bladder with the strength of Sampson after carrying almost a 9 pound baby. But, nothing can prepare you for the anguish you'll go through when you have to feed your crying baby while squeezing your butt cheeks together and praying profusely.
So, mainly, build your strength because your life as a mother will be hard. You will become the super hero and comforter of a little one who will depend on you to suffer for their comfort. The reward, also, is greater than anyone could ever prepare you for.
I hated every time I heard that because I had insomnia my entire pregnancy. I would always reply with "Well, at least I won't have this immense pain on top of it". I suffered from "down there" pains very bad. Each side I laid on would go numb after 20 minutes and every time I turned over in bed my hips would pop sending shooting pains through my "not so special place". So, I was prepared for the no sleep, I hadn't slept for more than a couple hours at a time since my first trimester. Next, please.
Here are a few not so obvious things I wished I had known to prepare for.
How much my arms, hands and shoulders would ache due to the hours on end of holding and patting... and more patting ... and just a little more patting. I should have put more time in on the arm machine at the gym before I got pregnant. I need a muscle relaxer to make it through the day but that would send me into a coma. Not an option when you have a newborn. So, no.
How hard it is to put a shirt on a newborn. Holy anxiety attack!!! God forbid you have a long sleeve to shove their arms through while they scream like a banshee and flail like a mouse caught in a trap. Then to take them off is like cracking a bank safe. Lord, help us until my daughter can assist with dressing. Zip ups or button ups are my best friend these days.
How hard it is to suck out boogers. Please, at all costs get the hospital grade booger sucker (make sure you take one from the hospital, it's included in your $50k bill). All other ones need to be buried or burned. But, even with the holy grail of booger suckers, cue the banshee screaming once again.
How much time I would spend washing bottles. All day, every day. Wash, wash, wash. My smart and efficient self decided to get a fancy bottle sterilizer. What a joke. Basically washing them before I sterilize them, placing all the pieces over the correct slots and then waiting for 10 mins for the sterilization process. No, the baby does not wait for 10 mins when she is hungry. Again, banshee scream. Maybe I shouldn't let them all get dirty before I decide to wash them but y'all told me to sleep when the baby does. Bottle sterilizer aka waste of money, was returned.
How hard it would be to hold my bladder or bowels when I'm taking care of the baby. You'd think I'd have a bladder with the strength of Sampson after carrying almost a 9 pound baby. But, nothing can prepare you for the anguish you'll go through when you have to feed your crying baby while squeezing your butt cheeks together and praying profusely.
So, mainly, build your strength because your life as a mother will be hard. You will become the super hero and comforter of a little one who will depend on you to suffer for their comfort. The reward, also, is greater than anyone could ever prepare you for.
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